Saturday, August 30, 2008

South America- Tangent TR- The Worst Pizza in the World

It's official. Chile has the worst pizza in the world. Holy doughballs, I've never thought pizza could be inedible, yet this stuff was odious, insufferable, vile, execrable. Fuck it's pizza, it's the easiest damn thing in the world to make. It's a universal recipe that ain't to hard to figure out. Well, somehow the Chileans never got the memo on what a pizza is. Maybe they saw a picture once and tried to interpret it. Maybe some gringo told them in broken spanish and explained it with the totally wrong words. I don't know. It's just horrendous, godawful and jaw-droppingly bad. Serioulsy 100 miles away in Argentina we ate great pizza.

Okay, so here's what it was. And take this into account, this pizza was ordered at a nice resaurant, in a nice district and it called itself a pizzeria.

The dough: It had the flavor and texture of a flavorless Wonderbread with the thickness of a wooden cutting board. It literally crumbled apart has you picked it up.

The sauce: It was ketchup!!! Seriously the tomato sauce was a thick layer of ketchup. I shit you not. Real, 100% ketchup.

The cheese: It tasted like monterrey jack but with no flavor. Oh and it wasn't melted. They cooked it enough for the outside edges to sag a little bit, but the rest was room temperature at best. The Italians cook their pizzas for 3-4 minutes in a 2000º oven. Here I think they cooked it for 3 minutes in a 200º oven.

The toppings: We ordered a Hawaiian because it's a hard one to screw up. Holy hambuckets was I wrong. There was thickly sliced raw, cold tomatoes (I guess they were trying to make up for the ketchup). There was spam ham. I literally think they sliced up a can of spam thinly and put it on. Oh it was cold two. Then it was all topped off with a giant slice of pineapple per piece. I think they put the toppings on after they pulled it out of the oven.

So there it was, the worst pizza recipe in the world. Blegh...

Friday, August 29, 2008

South America- Las Lenas- Day 1

Yeah, I'm going to Lenas. Guess who I'm rolling with to Lenas. I'm rolling with Jesus.



















Shit. Looks a little windy.


















Oh well, let's punch some knolls and do gunky grabs with my homie Greg...

























...and wait out the Marte opening with some quirky qewl Quilmes.























Marte, nos vamos manana...

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

South America- Leaving Chile

After seriously one of the coolest trips that included amazing shredding, good people and unlimited exploration, I decided to headed to Argentina to meet up with some of my best buds who were down in SA getting after everything. And by everything, I mean everything. Anyways, getting to Argentina from Chile on a beggars budget isn't necessarily the easiest thing in the world. Due to a small storm the pass from Santiago, Chile to Mendoza, Argentina was closed for 3 days. So I holed up in a bus station hotel in the middle of a shitty section of Santiago and waited for the storm to clear and plows to plow. The storm was so minor I sat in my hotel room flaming mad because a 3 foot Tahoe dump doesn't typically close roads. But then I headed up the pass for the first time and realized why the hell they close the road with only 2 inches of snow. It's gnarly! Crazy hairpin turns, guardrail-less road with deathly precipices and town crushing avalanches dot the entire pass. It starts at nearly sea level and heads up nearly 10,000 feet! Crazy cool drive.



Tuesday, August 26, 2008

South America- Week 1- Chile Ski Test

To get back to the trip report manner of this blog, I'll start about my first week in South America which took place way back in July.

It all started last September. In a meeting room on a dreary fall day in France, Mark Abma, Kaj Zackrisson and myself pitched an idea for a new ski. Then this May I got the call that there were many prototypes and the Solly boys wanted us to test for the best. With the best summer snow landing in Chile this year, the goal was to get to a random valley in the longest mountain chain in the world and ski a part of the Andes that had never been skied before. After 48 hours of cramped seats, overweight baggage hassles, 12 dollar airport beers and sketchy bus rides, we arrived at a ranch no where near snow but with the proper equipment to get to the goods.



Day one consisted of breaking trail up one of the sketchiest roads I'd ever been up. The photo below is on the mellowest section because the rest of the time I was gripped holding on to anything so I wouldn't go flying out of the back of the truck. We forded rivers multiple times, bogged down in gnarly mud pits and hung tires over 200 foot drops. It was the sketch.



After ditching the Unimog and getting dragged by snowmobiles, we arrived to a winter playground of powder. It was still early season, but a fresh dump allowed for some nice tree skiing and face shots on day one.






After a day filled with pow turns and face shots, the skis were testing great and it seemed like the trip was off to a good start.

The next day fulfilled our hope when it popped blue and we got to actually take a look at our surroundings. The terrain was nothing gnarly, but was just a total playground. Cliffs, hits, windlips, slashes, this place had it all for fun.





One of the best parts about a trip like this was getting to hang out with fellow skiers and mainly watch them do what they do best. Kaj just continued to show why he is one of the best mountain riders on the planet. Fresh off a knee surgery he was absolutely shredding steep, rollover lines with a confidence that rivals Tiger Woods.

This pic is previous to Kaj's shreddage, he skier to the looker's right of the tracks and you'll have to wait to see it on video.


Then Mark. Mark is a cat. He lands everything and does it with style that in my opinion no one has matched. It was really cool to watch him ski.
Here he's popping a cork 7 off of a cliff hit that was a solid 30 foot drop. Below is him dropping into a 20 footer for a switch 5.




Last but definitely least, I got to ski one of the most playful lines in my life. One I've been dreaming about for ages. The drop in pic with tips showing is the above shot and the below shot is from the end of the run. Two cliff hits, 10 to 30 footer, then a backflip off a windlip, then a side-hit gap things, to two powder wave slashes and a final tricky air at the bottom. The film shot didn't really get it good, but I could give a shit, it was so FUN!




Anyways, it was a great first week in SA and there will be more updates to come.

Ciao

Sunday, August 24, 2008

South America- Full TR Teaser

More to come. On a slow connection in Malargue, Arg. So sorry for the lack of updates, but as soon as I get home a full full update with lots of pics from this amazing month and a half of summer shred-sticking is in store.

Ciao